Lunatic: Why I Left My Career to Become a Full-Time Writer
Sometimes I lack finesse or the skill to create smooth segues, so I’m just going to say it.
Last week, I left my job of steady income and promotion possibilities, in a career in which I’ve
been building for almost 20 years (gah! don’t do the math on how old that makes me…), to
pursue this crazy dream of mine that I’ve had since I was ten years old.
I’m now a full-time writer.
Perhaps even a “starving artist.”
Am I crazy?
Perhaps.
First, I have to say that I have the wonderful support of The Husband who has been
encouraging me to make this big leap since Diamonds in Auschwitz was first picked up by a
publisher. We are both good little savers and are in the wonderful position that The Husband’s
income can handle our household expenses. I know how lucky I am for him and to have the
economic freedom to make that choice.
But I didn’t take the leap into full-time writer almost two years ago when he first suggested it,
and it had nothing to do with money.
So what changed? Mainly – me.
Going through this publishing process, I’ve learned a lot about the business and even more
about myself. I’m the factor that’s different.
Working full-time as a writer doesn’t have to mean I’m at the top of the New York Times
bestseller list, though, of course, that’s the dream. It doesn’t mean I have to have a coast-to-
coast book tour. It doesn’t mean I have to earn six-figure advances on my next book. It doesn’t
even mean that I have to sign with a Big Five publisher right away.
All those things would be amazing, and I’m going to work toward them. But I realize now that
those things don’t make me a writer.
Here’s what I think I can accomplish: I think I can keep writing books that I’m passionate about
– stories that bring to life historic figures and events that are worthy of a spotlight. I think those
will be books that can get published by some company (maybe smaller rather than bigger). I
think at least some people will want to read them. And I think I will be completely happy with
that outcome.
I think I will be productive, fulfilled, and doing the career I’ve dreamed about since I was ten
years old. Any success beyond that will be icing on an already delicious cake.
I’m reminded of an Andy Grammer song I used to play on repeat when I was running long
distances (back in my more athletic days):
You can do this
You can do this
You are not a lu-lunatic
Crazy would be changing your mind
You can do this
You can do this
You are not a lu-lunatic
Crazy would be leaving it behind
For me, it’s to the point where it would be crazier for me to give up on this dream than to
pursue it with complete dedication.
